Roots.

Today, I woke up feeling optimistic about my plans for the day. I had only one job; which was simply to complete a project due tomorrow. That’s all. What started as a highly enthusiastic and well thought plan out day soon turned sideways and brought my project to a screeching halt. Best believe I became really nervous about the whole situation but surprisingly I didn’t downrightly react to the situation the way I would have say three years ago. It may sound cliché but I am simply grateful to God for the transformation that is me today. I am someone who completely hate asking for help, I can be going through all bounds of hell and I would rather choose to suffer than allow myself to ask for help.

Asking for help to me depicts a sign of weakness and in our society, genuine help is hard to come by. I am not too sure when I developed this habit but it is a habit I am really trying to conquer. I decided to test my favour and indeed I found favour in the sight of whom who truly counts.

Scrolling through Facebook, I came across a video from an old YouTube inspiration Vlogger who I use to watch religiously. I guess you can call him that. Back when life was a lot more challenging and a lot of things didn’t make sense to me including religion and who God was.

I admired and major envied other people’s walk with God but I didn’t quite understand this ‘relationship with God’ business. I thought it was as simple as saying words like ‘God I believe in you’ or ‘Lord, I want to know you’. Don’t get me wrong, it is. But the effect is not only in the words you say but your choices, your heart, your relationship with God, the meaning behind those words. It’s not throwing an apology out there for someone to catch if they choose accept after I don’t know ‘whacking them with a baseball bat’ even though it was a genuine accident and the person might have deserved it. True story. I didn’t get it. I kept over-analysing everything. From if I was worshipping correctly to the tiniest things like what I am allowed to think about. So much so that by the end of some worship session, I would realise that I’d had a full blown conversation with myself, about myself and all I did was close my eyes to connote an act of worship.

Willie Moore Jr. has a way of delivering his messages. It starts with a short back story and few jokes here and there but the message is always linked back to what is slowly but surely becoming one of my favourite book.I was going through so much at the time and my favourite book now wasn’t my book of choice back then.

I am more of a practical/doing/observation type of learner. It was a lot easier to ‘try’ to understand through the explanation of others, plus I hardly ever read the book except on Sundays during church service hours so I wasn’t growing in my own knowledge. One thing I knew for sure was I had to answer my first calling but I thought I did but looking back, I realise that I didn’t even know how to and even if I did, I don’t think I would have been ready to drop who I am and carry the cross and follow him. Willie Moore Jr’s videos and other inspirational videos like his were instruments I was equipped with to help me pass through those different times.

Stumbling across a video of his sprung a train of thoughts leading back to the some of the lowest moments of my life but I wasn’t focused on the situations or the emotions; rather I was reminded that these videos were a medium that encouraged me through my lowest time and motivated me to keep at my relationship with God, to pray even the simplest prayers that I am reaping today and to serve as a reminder to not forget to pray today for my tomorrow, in the same manner I prayed yesterday for today.

Jodi Picoult said “sometimes you can see things happen right in front of your eyes and still jump to the wrong conclusions.” The best investment you can ever invest in yourself is that of your tomorrow and what better way to do so than to ask your heavenly father.

 

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