There Is Always a Conversation!

I find it hard to escape my thoughts. There always seem to be some form of conversation going on and it irritates me. Sometimes I catch myself catching myself in my stream of thinking and it frustrates me. I spend so much time in my head that nothing ever just happens to me. I have always noticed this frustrating mind cycle and it has always bothered me but I can never just seem to stop. some days I spend time praying for things to just happen to me without my awareness or permission. Like talking to a taxi driver for over half an hour about everything life, knowledge and Africans for over half an hour while he waits for me to catch my coach. It sounds mundane but that kind of thing doesn’t just happen to me. Something completely unplanned. Something I have not coined up in my many conversations. So, for something like that to happen, forever leaves an impression on me because I don’t have to pressure myself to speak about God but somehow, He casually just flows through the conversation. All that to say, I struggle a lot with the pressure of creating every moment rather than just allowing them to just happen and just enjoy and be present in the moment.

This is something that affects many areas of my life and it is just frustrating to say the least. I find that it affects my relationship with God also and I honestly do not know how to work with these conversations forever going on within. I was watching this comedian who said something so profound. He said ‘sometimes your setback is actually preparation for your comeback’ ‘so the things that looked like it was working against you are actually the things God is using to prepare you for what he will have you do’ but sometimes I feel like it’s easier to identify those things in other than in myself. I am forever trying to look within to identify what part of this statement speaks life into my many setbacks and I cannot say I have the best perspective to see it and maybe that is my issue. I am always trying to understand everything before I do and think things through all the time and come up with these possible scenarios that I see working in my favour that I ruin every possibility of just living in the moment and just enjoying it. So maybe I don’t need to comprehend what God is doing in terms of understanding the bigger picture just yet, maybe I just need to say ‘hey, what the hell! I’ll just go along and see what happens’.

Another thing is, I don’t like to leave anything without any form of resolution in sight. I learnt from a mentor of mine that sometimes, instead of being in a rush to fix something, maybe just stay in that moment, that feeling and acknowledge whatever that moment or feeling is even if it’s in a state of the uncomfortable’. Because people are always so quick to fix things, fix people and no one ever just stays in that place long enough to see what happens next. Honestly, with the pressure of having a platform like this based on God, I had to be reminded what this platform stood for, Yes, I love speaking from Scriptures but at the same time, this is also a platform to share parts and pieces of my journey and I don’t know why I have grown so scared to share this part of my journey on here which meant somehow turning this into a one dimension platform.

Yes, I love God and love to learn and impart others as I learn but in addition to that, I started this platform to support the intricate part of my journey and I guess this is me shutting down the conversation within about trying to BE for myself all God has called me to be out of my own way and understanding but starting over by saying ‘hey, what the hell! I’ll just go along and see what happens’.

Guess what. The conversations stopped.

Day Eight ❤️

Dear meSober up on yesterday, when 

Your very presence played harlot with your mind 

Rendering your hands as the barren woman who awaits the homecoming of her presence.

Knowing where your presence has been, still 

She calls cite memories of potential and ambition that belongs to you.

Day Seven ❤️

Dear me. You are accounted for.

Woven together in your mother’s womb. Where,

The nights of woman asked to hide you,

Only shines light on every intricate parts. You are,

Complexity for a name,

Your every moment laid out

Even before a single day has passed.

His workmanship is marvellous and your every breath is all that is required.

Day Three ❤️

Dear me,

You’ve survived over two decades now, Long enough to learn of the two rulers in this utopian land;

You will still come to realise their significance and that one will always be greater than the other.

You will get to understand their characters and where you think their flaws lies.

Day Six ❤️

Dear me Dare to live a life in the uncomfortable

Dare to speak volumes of the One you know

Dare to write library for the One you love

Let His truth be a gushing river of enough,

to fill your innermost being.

You are the journalist,

The poet,

The teacher.

The aftermath of the story told.

Day Five ❤️

Dear me, Unravel yourself as a miracle to the masses

Marvel at the blinding sight of your gracious potential; when

asked to cast out your arrows

Cast them and

Do not stop until

You have made oceans of knowledge, made

Mountains in understanding, and

Wisdom as countless as the sand on the seashore.

Be rest assured

That dreams are not made only for movies, your

possibility does not hide in the dream itself, rather

It is unravelled in you as the miracle to the masses.

Discount. Discount. Discount.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation, [that is, the atoning sacrifice, and the satisfying offering] for our sins [fulfilling God’s requirement for justice against sin and placating His wrath].” – 1 John 4:10

Funny enough this verse had me reminiscing on my ‘caring too much about what the world thinks of me’ days. Days where I would happily walk into a clothing store, pick out a few items that caught my eyes, proceed to the checkout counter and happily pay FULL PRICE for items that I could have bought at a discounted price. Majority of the time, it wasn’t because I didn’t know the shop offered discounts but I was more concerned about portraying myself as able to afford everything I wanted without the assisted help of discounts. I honestly should have just taken the discount, saved a few pounds and use that money towards something else. That would have been the smart thing to do.

**It’s interesting because I believe out of God’s love for every one of us, we can obtain ETERNAL LIFE at a price in Jesus Christ. **

It’s simple. Believing in Christ Jesus is the golden ticket we need to obtain eternal life. Believing that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who was crucified, who died for our sins and was buried, who rose again on third day from the dead, ascended into Heaven and is seated on the right hand of God Almighty.

Nothing sinful or evil can exist in God’s presence. He is absolutely goodness. He cannot overlook, condone or excuse sin as though it never happened. He loves us, but his love does not make Him morally lax. If you trust in Christ, however, you will not have to bear the penalty for our sins…. (extract from NLT study Bible).

**(He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became our healing – 1 Peter 2:24) **

… But you will be acquitted by His atoning sacrifice.

** (Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone – Romans 5:18) **

When Jesus died on the cross, He paid in blood to buy men and women from all over the earth and back for God (Revelation 5:9). His blood washed our sins from our lives (Revelation 1:5). It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb (1 Peter:18-19). His blood poured out as a sacrificial confirmation of the covenant between God and His people for forgiveness of sins for many (Matthew 26:28). For at one time, you were far away from God, but now in Christ Jesus, you are brought near to Him. You are bought near to God through the blood sacrifice of Christ (Ephesians 2:13).

Christ’s blood is part of God’s love that drives out fear from your heart and causes you to live free of condemnation and in confidence that the price of your sins has been paid and you can come boldly before God and into His presence.

You don’t have to live in fear of judgement day as this dreaded event that is yet to take place but instead you can be excited at the thought of being in God’s holy presence. All-expense PAID! But….

If you’re currently living a life that pretty much saying to God ‘Thank you for the blood of Jesus that frees me from condemnation and into eternal life but I’m not going to take it’. I encourage you to look within yourself and answer this …

‘Do you believe YOU are ABLE to PAY the PRICE for ALL YOUR SINS by YOURSELF?’

** Because God cannot overlook, condone or excuse sin as though it never happened. Understand that those who believe in Christ Jesus have the luxury of being acquitted from facing punishment for their sins because they BELIEVED in Him. Those who chose NOT to believe in Christ Jesus have only themselves to stand before Christ to answer for themselves. **

If you trust in Christ, you don’t have to bear the penalty for your sins, but if you don’t, you are pretty much saying to God ‘I can bear the penalty of my sins’.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t chosen to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, I greatly encourage you to come to Jesus, grow to know Him more and more and live in great confident that His blood covers all your sins and in Him you have eternal life and you are saved.

If you want to give your life to Jesus in this moment, I urge to pray with me ……….

“For if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

Prayer of Salvation:

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Your Son Jesus Christ. You said in Your Word that whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. (Romans 10:13) Father, I am calling on Jesus right now. I believe He died on the cross for my sins, that He was raised from the dead on the third day, and He’s alive right now. Lord Jesus, I am asking You now, come into my heart. Live Your life in me and through me. I repent of my sins and surrender myself totally and completely to You. Heavenly Father, by faith I now confess Jesus Christ as my new Lord and from this day forward, I dedicate my life to serving Him. In Jesus name. Amen.